Evanesco
by gatogirl1
Summary: In which Finn's teasing goes Too Far and something happens that Piper might Regret. Magically has become a two-shot; no pairings.
1. Finn Teases and Piper Regrets

"Evanesco"

by gatogirl1

* * *

Aerrow had to press himself against the corridor wall to avoid getting trampled by a gleeful Finn and a rampaging Piper in close pursuit. His attention easily diverted from the dry mission report he had yet to file away in his hands, he turned and followed in his crewmates' wake. He trailed them through the ship to the bridge easily enough- if the maze of upturned boxes and spilled supplies hadn't been enough of a clue, then echoes of Piper's enraged shouting and Finn's laughing taunts would have sufficed to mark their route.

Aerrow entered the bridge to join the rest of his bemused and attentive team watching the end of yet another spat between their friends.

From the looks of it, Finn had stolen a magazine and was dancing just out of reach. Piper had cornered Finn up against the glass windows, but Finn was smart enough to use the bulky helm as a cover between them.

Realizing he had the full attention of his audience, Finn continued riling up Piper. "And what do we have here?" Finn grandly exclaimed in mock surprise. "Is Piper, our very own geeky crystal scientist Piper, a closet reader of GURL-E Magazine?" He waved the stolen item tantalizingly close to her attacking fingers.

"F-i-n-n..." Piper ground out.

"Oo! Oo! And look! The pages are bent because she's been reading this one section so much! Shall we see what interests our fair crew member so much?" The magazine fell open to the middle, the paper dog-earred and worn.

Aerrow, Radarr, Stork and Junko stood quietly to the side, expressions varying from eyerolls to amused interest.

"Why, lookee here!" Finn hooted as he darted away from the growling girl. "She's bookmarked one of those romancy-girly-dorktastic type stories..." Fluttering his eyelashes at his audience, he swooned with a hand to his brow and began to read. "The girl was practically a slave..."

"FINN! Give it back!" she grabbed for the magazine in his upraised hand.

He sidestepped her desperate lunge and kept reading "But what no one knew was that the Goblin King had fallen in love with her and had given her certain powers. And so one night..."

Piper's persistance paid off. She snagged a side of the magazine while Finn was really getting into his melodrama. However, the combined tug and his grip on the cover left Piper staring wide-eyed at a handful of ripped pages falling to the deck. Finn sheepishly looked down at his own handful of the ripped mag, then drew back at the pissed glare she was giving him. He gulped nervously a few times and glanced helplessly at his still amused crewmates, then drew himself to his full height to bluff his way out of yet another mess.

"Oh come on, who reads junk like that anyway?" Finn crossed his arms defensively. "Goblins and magic powers, why are all girls stupid enough to swoon over dorky things like...that...?"

His words trailed off as Piper towered over Finn, fury blazing across her face.

"Ooo Finn, you...you jerk! Sometimes, I just wish the goblins would come and take YOU away…like right now!"

And then Finn vanished, leaving behind only a plume of sparkling dust and a chorus of goblin snickering.

* * *

Notes: I haven't written anything in forever; I'd forgotten how much fun it is. ^_^

"Storm Hawks" are cool. But they're not mine. Neither are David Bowe's "Labyrinth" pants.

Evanesco- Harry Potter fans unite!


	2. Irksome Interactions with the Natives

"Evanesco, part ii": In which Stork and Junko are drawn into Irksome Interactions with the Natives.

(Huh. This was only going to be a one-shot, but it grew, thanks to the love of Amethyst and The SPAZtastic Lawlrus.)

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

In retrospect, this splitting up might not have been the wisest choice.

"Hey Stork," Junko called to his lanky crewmate who was examining the sturdy, yet crumbly outer wall of the labyrinth. "What do you think all these pretty sparkly lights are?"

Stork whirled around in time to see the Wallop's arm reaching out to… "Wait! Don't touch it!"

His warning was too late. "Ahhh, look! It's just a litl' tiny thing!"

The green-tinged Merb scurried to his friend's side. Or more precisely, to his back, lurking behind Junko and just peeping over his shoulder to peer at this discovery. "You shouldn't hold it like that!" he scolded. "It looks like an Armenian Winged Tapeworm…or it could be a Flying Gascarian Biped…I hear that just a drop of their venom is enough to liquefy a full-grown Raptor in less than ten minutes!"

"Aw shucks, don't worry Stork! It's so teeny tiny and cute! It wouldn't hurt…oh! See see!" Junko smiled at the fairy perched on his hand. "It likes me! It's giving me kisses…and they tickle!" For, indeed, the fairy did seem to be affixing its mouth…and teeth…to the thick tough skin of Junko's thumb.

"Kisses?! It's worse than I thought," shivered Stork. "It must be a Loose-Lipped Laputian- quick! Throw it away before the madness spreads!" Stork cringed back but flailed an arm blindly in its direction, managing to swat the creature with surprising force and knock it away (despite its teeth still sunken into Junko's finger).

The wee airborne fairy arched up high until…SMACK!

"Hey! What'dya go and do a thing like that for?" A stubby goblin, hardly discernible from the rocky labyrinth wall thanks to his craggy face and dusty clothes had just walked around the corner. "There're enough of these darned things around without having to dodge 'em when idiots start throwin' them!"

"Sorry!" Junko waved sheepishly.

Reorienting itself, the fairy, now glowing a fierce red, flew furiously back at Junko and attacked his finger again.

"Aw look! It REALLY likes me!"

Stork groaned and hid his face in his hands. Definitely not the wisest choice.

. . . . . . .

Picking their way over the branches that littered the walkway, Stork's fingers nervously tapped as he grumped to himself under his breath but still loud enough for his companions to overhear. "With the entrance closed and inaccessible from this side, we'll be doomed to wind our way helplessly through the dark and twisted pathways…forever. Nothing to look forward to but a goblin horde armed to the teeth, the Forest of Darkness and worst of all…" he stared darkly out from behind a curtain of hair "…the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence!"

Hoggle turned his head. "Actually, it's da Bog of Eternal Stench."

Stork raised a dismissive brow, but didn't stop the constant turning of his head to check behind the group in case the rare Gandan Toothed Walkers crept up behind. "No, I am certain my sources are correct in telling me it's called the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence."

"Bog of Eternal Stench." Hoggle didn't miss a beat.

"It's CALLED the Bog of Never-Ending Putrescence."

"Eternal stench."

Stork had actually stopped twitching his fingers and clenched them into fists. "Never-Ending Putrescence."

Hoggle finally stopped in the middle of the passage, incredulous. "It's a bog tha' smells worse than anything you've ever smelled and if you touch it, you'll smell bad for the rest o' your life. WHAT does it MATTER what it's CALLED?!"

. . . . . .

The great shaggy orange-furred beast grinned toothily down at them. "Junko! Junko fwend!"

Stork grumpily crossed his arms. "Oh great. Another pitiful, local yahoo has latched itself onto us. Junko!" he snapped. "That thing will never fit in my ship; you are not keeping it!"

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

This is dedicated to Scott McNeil; may he forever grace us with the voices of awesome characters like Rattrap, Duo Maxwell and Stork!

If I told you it was my birthday today, would you leave me reviews as presents? ^_^


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